I am often just wind wondering why there is this disconnect between me and the outside world. I won’t even try to get out of it! I don’t want to talk about the weather because frankly, it tells me nothing about you. In fact, there are a significant number of struggles of an introvert mom raising an extrovert kid — including having to put myself out there into the … If you're an introvert and the parent of a small human, it can be very freeing to realize that maybe it's not just that you "don't like the baby stage." What did our friends/Relatives do to our character? It is so important to avoid this at all costs, as it can be detrimental to you and how you perceive yourself. The real struggle of being both an introvert and an extrovert that I find to be true for myself is the uncertainty of how you are going to feel in the future. All people have both introvert and extrovert tendencies when it comes to different situations, but most people are inherently either on one side or the other. A parent will want to help a shy child, but support an introverted child. I stumbled across an interesting book by Susan Cain titled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Fast forward to my current state of blissful motherhood and nothing has changed. A lot goes on in this little head of mine! Even I wouldn’t. Why is it so difficult to make friends? That’s not to say that we can’t have fun but we crave meaningful relationships with the people we spend our time with. Introvert parents may question their relevance and worth as a parent, and are at heightened risk of anxiety and depression. Not me, definitely not me. At first, I was convinced that it was just a matter of adjusting to my changing reality but when I found myself still struggling with the same issues years after the move, and years after my children were born, I knew I needed to dig deeper to find some answers. Not at all! I’ve read that you’re born an introvert, but genetics is only a part of it. 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For years I wondered what was wrong with me. Babies are crap at both being quiet and alone time. If I had to pick one characteristic that singled me out as an introvert, this would be it. It can be tough out there for introvert parents. They like having their own space and counting on quiet time every day. I am always examining the experiences I have in my life, before they happen, during the actual event, and after. Instead, spending time alone is actually part of how introverts protect and rejuvenate their psyche. When I Stopped Being Afraid To Make Mistakes, I Started To Live A Better Life. Use it to effect positive change but DO NOT use it to be self-critical to the point that you feel hopeless. There is no shame in that. Being self-aware means being completely in tune with who you are as an individual. It’s tough being an introvert, and things get even harder when you become a mom. When I came to the realization that I was in fact an introvert, I was able to start accepting myself for who I was. If you've met me in person, that may come as a surprise to you because I'm not shy - I'm introverted. The moment I realized that I was an introverted mom, my adult life was put into perspective and I could finally come to terms with who I was. Glad that this strangeness I feel is more common than not. Why do I prefer to sit alone in my car at soccer games instead of hanging out with the other moms? The struggle of an introvert mum… Parenting when you’re an introvert can be a real emotional rollercoaster. All of a sudden, I wasn’t needed to take them places. I examine my faults, and even if those are hard to own up to at times, I am aware of their existence and the unique ways that they affect my being. I value all of the human connections I have, I really do, but you’d never know that if you were a fly on the wall watching me trying to find any excuse in the book to get out of meeting up with people. We are always searching for that special someone that just gets us and accepts us for who we are. I’ve Had Better. 13 Important Things Every Mother Needs To Know, 6 Important Questions You MUST Ask Before Getting A Dog, How To Effectively Relieve Stress From Now on, My Feel-Good List Of 80s Songs, They Make My Heart Happy, 6 Important People To Think Of This Christmas, Practical Struggles Of The Introvert Mom In Today’s World, How Nearly Dying At 16 Changed My Life Forever. You may or may not know this, but I am actually an introverted dad. Unfortunately, a mom’s work is never done, and some days it may be impossible to get some time to yourself. What this means for the introvert is that they become fatigued and overwhelmed and when the next day comes, things seem way more difficult to do than they really are. “Since you’re so friendly, why don’t you go talk to … They can just seem like too much of a good thing, especially for more introverted parents [emphasis added]. 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While we’re delighted for … This is a great article, I find myself trying to check off boxes to see if I am an introvert! You brought tears to my eyes! I have friends who say that they miss being with other adults after a … Nailed it! He finds it difficult to comprehend how anyone would WANT to be alone or do things alone. As an introverted parent, you may struggle to model healthy socialization when your tendency is to avoid certain social activities like large gatherings or parties. My kids are my pride and joy and when they have functions or sporting events at school, you can be assured that I will show up. Children by nature are often noisy and this can feel jarring when they are lost in thought. You feel like everything you say must be invaluable and perfect. We do live in somewhat different realities, and my struggles to tend to the needs of my extrovert child still exist but because of his age and maturity, we have reached a compromise that is palatable to us both. Maybe if I was better at it, I could use it as a stepping stone to deeper and more meaningful conversations with people, instead of getting instantly turned off. It’s in my nature, I’m an introvert. As an introverted teen, you’ve likely experienced some kind of bullying. Please don’t take it personally when I don’t make myself available, I am just an introvert doing what she does best. ... Introverts Struggle. By the time I’m through doing that though, I’m exhausted! Social engagements can be exhausting for you, You make plans but try to get out of them, You cringe when your child gets invited to a birthday party, You cringe when parent volunteers are needed, You have difficulty making connections or friendships, You end up feeling alone and disconnected, You can’t always get the alone time that you need, You struggle to parent your extroverted child. It is imperative that you know your limits and capabilities and that you MAKE time for yourself. We feel guilty if one of our kids is extroverted. However, these issues, as difficult as they may be, often aren’t the most pressing for … It’s for my kids and I think they know that mommy will show up to cheer them on any day. You don’t raise your hand in class or … It’s almost impossible … Who knows, that introvert over there sitting quietly by herself could be your next BFF! Would you befriend someone that you thought was unfriendly? Resist the impulse to … I examine my interactions with people and how I react in different situations. I don’t really miss other adults. My childhood and young adult life were pretty “normal” and I didn’t seem to exhibit the characteristics of an introvert during those years, at least I don’t think so. I love spending time with my husband and kids but I have to tell you, if I happen to get a few hours to myself, I feel like I’m holding a VIP pass to the best party in town! I adore my boy, and I miss him so much when I am at work, but sometimes after a long day, I just need to be alone. The struggles of being an introvert and parent & other randomness All Rights Reserved. It all goes back to fostering meaningful relationships. Your thoughts, your emotions, and your whole being are now shared facets of your existence, and that in itself can be overwhelming. I want my time spent with you to be worthwhile for the two of us, and I want to walk away with a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that we didn’t waste each other’s time and energy. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I know it sounds a bit awful and for years, I felt like something was wrong with me, that I was asking too much of people and not giving enough in return. Not too long ago, I woke up one day and decided I was going to be attentive to, and present with, my kids the whole day. I’m all for it, but you can bet your bottom dollar that before the night is over, I’ll be earnestly craving my alone time. – know about introverts in india. ESTP parents tend to struggle with a loss of freedom and control in the natural busyness of family life. This piggy-backs off the last point. I love that you can proudly say that you love yourself. Thinking back on my life, I realized that at any given time, I only had a few solid friendships and I was completely okay with that. They force introverted kids to socialize more. Completely in tune with who you are an introvert be comfortable with small! Examine my interactions with people and how you turn out 2015 Updated November 16, 2018 comment! The room and taking everything in from a distance was an introverted.. Like having people around feel guilty if one of our kids is extroverted when gathering... Wonderful introverted moms ’ and engaging in multiple activities was able to start accepting me for who we are brought... 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